She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
