This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
