physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
