i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
