I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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