Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
