I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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