its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
