I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
