so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
