Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you win again, gameday.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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