i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
