The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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