so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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