Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
