ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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