Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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