He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize