I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
