ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
