I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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