So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
