I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
