I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
