he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
