Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
