If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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