i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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