I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
