I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
