did you get engaged???
Please, let me fuck your mom
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
