dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
