We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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