if i can run in heels then i can drive
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
