I think i peed on brittanys purse
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize