I accidentally had phone sex last night
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
