dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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