Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
3pm strippers are depressing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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