There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
