I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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