eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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