The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
