I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
