imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
