there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you had me at cake vodka
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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