So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
