Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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