Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
