In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
barbara walters just said penis...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
