yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
