U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
