I never want to see another naked old woman again.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
